Emotional Interactions in Couples: A Comparison Between Belgium and Japan.

Do couples’ emotional interactions vary across cultures? In this dissertation, I address this question in a focus group and couple-conflict study across two cultures: Belgium and Japan. Couples in Belgian and Japanese cultural contexts emphasize different relationship goals: independence and autonomy are valued in Belgium, while interdependence and harmony are emphasized in Japan. To the extent that emotions are shaped by cultural relationship goals, Belgian and Japanese couples may engage in different emotional interactions during a disagreement. First, we investigate how Belgian and Japanese partners conceive of couple disagreement. Second, we examine if –– in line with culturally specific conceptions of couple disagreement –– Belgian and Japanese couples engage in different 1) emotional behaviors and 2) interpersonal emotional sequences during an ongoing disagreement. Finally, we investigate whether engaging in culturally typical emotional interactions is beneficial for the relationship.

In a focus group study (Chapter 2), we examine Belgian and Japanese partners’ beliefs and ideas about couple disagreement. Using thematic analyses, we find that Belgian partners conceive of couple disagreement as inevitable and necessary. They value tackling disagreement head on and believe that conflict resolution requires direct communication, disclosing feelings, and asserting personal needs. In contrast, Japanese partners are hesitant to address disagreement and if possible, may avoid it altogether. Disagreement is not viewed as necessary if partners adjust to each other’s expectations. Emotional control, perspective taking and mindreading –– strategies that prioritize the partner’s needs –– are considered instrumental for dealing with disagreement, as they reaffirm mutual adjustment.

In the subsequent studies, we propose that Belgian and Japanese couples engage in different emotional interactions during an actual disagreement, in line with varying relationship and disagreement goals. We conducted a large couple-conflict study in which couples were video-recorded while they discussed a disagreement in the lab. In Chapter 3, we use self-report data of emotions (i.e., disengaging emotions such as annoyance, and engaging emotions such as guilt) and emotion suppression to examine if cultural variation in emotion suppression depends on the type of emotional experience. We find that Japanese partners use emotion suppression more than Belgian partners, and that the difference in suppression is especially pronounced when disengaging emotions trump engaging emotions, but not when the reverse is true. This corresponds with the value Japanese partners place on emotional control and suggests that Japanese partners hide those emotions that are harmful for the relationship –– disengaging emotions, like annoyance, imply direct confrontation, which may impede mutual adjustment during disagreement. In Chapter 4, we use observed emotion data collected with the Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF), and investigate cultural differences in emotional behavior. We find that behaviors that support independent goals –– anger and domineering –– are more prevalent in Belgium than in Japan. These behaviors highlight personal needs, and influence the partner to change behavior according to one’s wishes. Yet, emotional behaviors that fit the goal of interdependence –– validation (i.e., showing understanding) and fear/tension (i.e., worry to hurt the partner) –– are more prevalent in Japan than in Belgium. These behaviors promote perspective taking and conflict avoidance. Engaging in emotional behaviors that fit the cultural norm also contribute to better relational functioning, if only in Japan. In a final study (Chapter 5), we investigate cultural variation in couples’ interpersonal emotional sequences. We find that Belgian partners engage in sequences that involve anger, which align with self-assertion and autonomy. In contrast, Japanese partners engage in sequences that focus on criticism, which, in pointing out the partners flaws, may encourage the other to change and adjust to relational expectations.

In conclusion, this dissertation provides evidence for the idea that couples’ emotional interactions differ across cultures in systematic and meaningful ways; the emotional interactions elicited by a disagreement correspond with the relationship goals emphasized in each culture. This dissertation also highlights the idea that emotional behaviors, especially the culturally valued ones, are crucial relational tools that align couples’ interactions with the cultural goals and values, and help couples function in culturally ‘right’ and healthy ways.