The sibling bond: Addressing physical and emotional sibling violence

Sibling violence is the most prevalent form of family violence and may cause several short-term and long-term harm related to individuals’ internalising and externalising behaviour. Nonetheless, sibling violence has been normalised in research, policy and practice for a long time. It has only recently come to the attention of researchers, social welfare and judicial services and the media. Normalisation of sibling violence in the broader society results in normalisation by families who are confronted with it. Parents might minimise sibling violence or adopt an ignoring or indifferent attitude towards it. Children themselves might not realise they are involved in violent and potential harmful sibling interactions, let alone reach out to external support if parents are not able or willing to do so. When children and parents are unable to address the violence, an ‘external’ intervention from professional services is necessary. However, this raises the question if and at which point our society can initiate interventions in a family context and to what extent these interventions are legitimate, justifiable and effective. Moreover, in order to address sibling violence, these cases have to come to the attention of professionals. Sibling violence is often intertwined with other alarming situations and professionals are not in the first place focused on the (violent) relations between siblings, leaving sibling violence undetected and unaddressed.

Both nationally and internationally, less research is available on sibling violence compared to child abuse by caregivers and intimate partner violence. Studies are primarily quantitative, providing insights in the prevalence, predictors and outcomes of sibling relationship quality and violence. However, qualitative research involving siblings and parents (or other caregivers) is essential to understand the needs of families dealing with sibling conflict, violence and abuse. Research on how parents deal with sibling violence and abuse and how minors experience engagement with child care services related to their involvement in sibling violence and abuse is scarce. Furthermore, there is little insight in how health care, social welfare and judicial service professionals detect and address sibling violence and abuse.

Addressing these gaps, the study explores how sibling violence can be addressed from two perspectives. On the one hand, the study explores how siblings and parents experience sibling conflict, physical and psychological violence and abuse, what harm they experience, how parents intervene in sibling conflict, violence and abuse, and if and how siblings and parents experience the need for professional support to cope with it. On the other hand, the study examines if and how professionals in health care, social welfare and judicial services detect and address sibling violence, and what challenges they experience in doing so. Interviews were conducted with siblings (N = 5) and parents (N = 4), while data collection with professionals consisted of a combination of an online survey (N = 234), interviews (N = 10) and focus group (N = 3). The study focusses on adolescents, as violent and abusive sibling interactions have found to be more severe during adolescence compared to childhood and adulthood.

Findings indicate different experiences with sibling conflict, violence and abuse, often combined with feelings of warmth and shared moments or activities. Siblings used a variety of non-violent and violent conflict management strategies to manage sibling conflict. Parents and siblings attributed the occurrence of sibling violence or abuse to certain life events rather than the transition into adolescence. Conflicts became less intense and less violent or abusive once the siblings had some distance from one another. Siblings and parents referred to experienced physical harm, internalising behaviour and difficulties in social relationships, although this harm cannot be directly attributed to siblings’ involvement in sibling violence or abuse. Participating parents often moderated between their children during or after an (escalated) conflict. However, parents were not always able to address sibling conflicts calmly, especially when they escalated into violence or abuse. Furthermore, not all siblings perceived that the violent or abusive behaviour conducted by their sibling was addressed by their parents. In order to cope with sibling conflict, violence and abuse, siblings and parents have been seeking help in their informal (e.g., other family members) and formal (e.g., teachers, General Welfare Services, child protection services, support groups and individual psychologists/therapists) context. Siblings and parents received a variety of responses from their informal context, but the responses mainly normalised the behaviour. Regarding professional help, siblings and parents experienced several barriers to reach out to services. Moreover, participating siblings and parents experienced a gap between their needs to cope with harmful sibling behaviour and the current support offer in Flanders.

In the survey, interviews and focus group, professionals indicated that there is less attention, knowledge and expertise regarding sibling violence compared to other forms of family violence. This has implications regarding the detection of and approach to sibling violence. Professionals do not proactively ask questions about (violent or abusive) sibling relationships and prioritise other forms of family violence or alarming situations, which are the main reason for submission or referral. Even when sibling violence comes to the attention of professionals, they experienced difficulties to distinguish between sibling rivalry and sibling violence. Subsequently, the difficulties to detect signs of sibling violence hindered sufficient registration of it, leaving it invisible and underestimated. Despite their limited experience with cases of sibling violence, professionals reflected on the required response to it, preferring a social welfare response over a judicial one. More specific, they preferred to develop a family-oriented approach, including all family members to identify the risks and needs, to put an end to the violence, and to restore disrupted family relationships.

In sum, the general lack of recognition of sibling violence as a potential harmful phenomenon hinders the development of an adequate internal and external approach to sibling violence and abuse. This study serves as a stepping stone towards more research. The insights are of value to raise awareness of sibling violence and abuse and to support services to develop an adequate approach to it.